New Year….New Me

New Year….New Me.

With this being the first of 2017 this blog is a goal of mine for the year. Not a resolution, because I do not believe in resolutions. And i can NEVER keep them. But blogging is something that I want to set as a goal for this year. There are so many things I want to talk about and want to get out there so I think this will be something I can keep up with. At least I hope……

2016 was a REALLY bad year. And it ended terribly as well with me having the FLU. So I am starting 2017 with the flu which is not how i wanted to start the new year. If there was something bad that could happen it did. I started having hemiplegic migraines in March and was in and out of the hospital and the ER the whole year. I was seen at Barnes in St. Louis, and at Mayo. And nothing could be pinpointed for a cause of the migraines. The medical bills grew and grew and my income shrank. I finally had to quit work because I was taking off more days than I was working. So once I stopped working that meant I had no income. Which meant it was impossible to pay my bills. So sadly I had to move out of my apt and move back in with my parents. This is not something you want to do at the age of 31. However, I am so very grateful to have such amazing family. Without them I have no idea where I would have ended up.
My dogs have always been my life. They were my kids, my babies, my everything. When I moved home I was only able to bring my Max because my parents already have 4 dogs and didn’t really need two more. About two weeks after Max and I moved in with my parents in early September he got sick. At first the vet thought it was bronchitis or an upper respiratory infection. However, he wasn’t getting better. So I took him back and they did X-rays and found that he had severe congestive heart failure. I could have put him on meds and prolonged his life but it would not have been a quality life for him. So I chose not to do that. I chose to put him to sleep. That was probably one of the hardest decisions i have ever had to make. He was my right hand man. He knew when I was sick, sometimes before I did. And would lay his head wherever I hurt. He was my life. I still miss him so much to this day. I don’t know that I will ever get another dog because he was so special. Jesse went to a coworker of my moms and ended up going to another family member of hers. So I have no idea where she is now. I miss my babies so so much.
As far as my health, it is still not back to where I would like it to be. I still have migraines. And my adrenal glands still haven’t come back to where they should be so I can come off the daily steroids. And because of that my blood pressure will bottom out. And It causes me to be extremely fatigued and confused at times. I still have a LOT of pain daily from the fibromyalgia and lupus and they cant seem to do anything to help it besides what I am doing. I applied for long term disability through my former employer and was denied TWICE. They say they can’t find any reason that I can’t work. I also applied for SSDI and was denied as well. But I was told before I applied that this is pretty common. Most people have to appeal at least once before they are approved. So I have hired a lawyer and am appeal my denial. That being said I am looking for part time jobs currently and hoping to get back into the work-force. I am so bored being at home and I miss my job.
One thing that has helped me throughout this entire horrible year is the Lupus support group that I started a few years ago. They are a fantastic group of women (and men) who go out of their way to make sure you know you aren’t alone. When you have chronic disease such as lupus or fibromyalgia you need support. You need people you can rely on. People you can run to when you feel like your world is crashing down. And that is what my group has been for me.
In 2017 I have many things that I want to do. I want to work on becoming more healthy. Not so much focusing on my weight, but working on eating better and working out more. I want to take all the sugar out of my diet. And eat more veggies and fruits and drink lots more water. I want to walk more and my goal is to participate in a 5k by my birthday in may. I may not run it but I would be happy to walk it. Because there is NO WAY I could do that now. I want to blog at least once if not twice a week. But I want them to be more than me just writing about me. I am going to work on this becoming something different than it is now. I have yet to decide what exactly that will be. But stay tuned to find out…… So here is to 2017!!! I am determined to make this the best year Ive had in the last decade!!!! So join the ride…….

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