The Grass is Always Greener 

You know the saying you’ve heard since you were a kid “The grass is always greener on the other side?” Well, I’ve realized in the past few months that this applies to more than just cows wanting to eat from the other side of the fence. That there really is more to it!! It definitely applies to working in the home vs working outside if the home. It seems like those that get to stay home or work from home want to work outside the home, and those outside the home want to be at home.  It’s a never ending battle. 

Once I graduated with my Nursing degree in 2007 I assumed I would work in some way up until retirement. I thought I might want to go part time at some point when I had babies. But I never thought that at ten years after graduation, at the age of 32,  I would no longer be working at all. Well, not at least outside of the medical field. But it’s happened!!!!!! I am no longer working as a nurse. But as an Indeoendant Distributor for a cosmetic company. Basically an MLM. It does bring in a little money and I am so very grateful to have found something that I can do from home. Heck, I can even do it in my jammies from my bed. However, this is definitely not where I saw my life going ten years ago. 

However, I know that I am not alone in saying it’s totally different when you choose to stay home with babies or your family. Then it is when are forced out of the workforce due to an illness or disability. Since the end of August I have had to stay home due to illness. I lost my job after totaling my car in a accident where it is likely that I had either a seizure or a cardiac event! The accident was just the icing on the cake, so to speak. I had missed more days than any other employer would have allowed. And this company was so gracious to work with me and did everything they could not to let me go but after the accident it was clear it was just what had to be. At first after losing my job it was kind of nice to be home, to not have to get up to an alarm or get dressed up everyday. However, that lasted about two weeks, and then I was bored out of my mind. 

I can’t tell you though the number of times, those of us who are unable to work and have to stay home due to illness or disability, hear how nice it must be to be able to stay home and not have to work.  What people don’t understand is that there is a large population of us who have been forced out of the work force would give ANYTHING to get back to work!!! And it’s not by any means that we don’t HAVE to work. It’s not like we chose to retire and are now happily traveling the world and getting to spend time with family.  Most of us who were forced out of our jobs by our health are doing quite the opposite. We are stuck at home, usually leaving mostly just to attend a multitude of drs appointments, go to the grocery store or maybe church. If we are lucky we might find enough get up and go to go out to lunch or dinner with friends or family. But usually those plans get rescheduled because of how we are feeling!!  So we are NOT living the life. 

I would give anything to go back to work. To be able to go back to working the Cardiovascular Step Down unit wher I worked the majority of the time before I left as a Charge Nurse. This was what I loved. I loved the kind of  patients we worked with, the body system we were working with and really most things about my job!! But then the Lupus monster hit!!! I could no longer physically meet the demands of that job. So it was time to move on to things less physically demanding. Since the Summer of 2012  I have worked several jobs,  but none of them were what I loved. And over the years my health continued to deteriorate to the point where I was calling in more than I was actually working due to migraines and pain and constant illness. So I was no good to any employer or fellow employees at this point due to my Lupus, migraines and adrenal insufficiency!  

What people don’t take into account is the risk for increased rates of depression when people are no longer able to work for whatever reason. Now that person may no longer have an income or a very small one, so that puts a huge stress on the person as well as the family. Due to the loss of job  they may have lost their health insurance. And this is really not an option for those with chronic disabiling diseases. Without insurance we could potentially get stuck with thousands and thousands of dollars of medical bills that you gave no idea how you were going to pay them. Or if they can get government insurance it may be to pricey for them to get!!. There is also the potential for lack of adult face to face conversation and a potential loss of friends all related to the disease and the the job loss. Both of which can also cause or deepen a person’s depression. 

I looked up some statistics on the Buteau of Labor Statistics Page. Per their site, “Adults age 21 to 64 with disabilities had median monthly earnings of $1,961 compared with $2,724 for those with no disability.” And that’s a median number. I know many people who only receive -$500-$1000 a MONTH in social security that they are expected to live off!! I also found this statistic that I found interesting.  “Only 17.9% of persons with a disability were employed.”
According to the U.S. Census Bureau “Nearly 1 in 5 People Have a Disability in the U.S., Census Bureau Reports Report. 
About 56.7 million people — 19 percent of the population — had a disability in 2010, according to a broad definition of disability, with more than half of them reporting the disability was severe, according to a comprehensive report on this population released today by the U.S. Census Bureau.”

Those statistics were not imperative to include but I thought it was a good look at just how many people are disabled in the United States. For me the take away of this blog would be that most people aren’t happy where they are. If they have to work to provide they wish they could be home with their families. While those of us who can’t work would give anything to get back into the workforce! I also want to people to understand that many of us who are disabled don’t want to stay home and not work. We would love to return to the careers we went to college for and loved. Not all people on disability are just living off the system and not working because they can. Personally, I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO WORK AGAIN outside the home. 

I hope this gave you some insight!

Amber  
References:

https://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/miscellaneous/cb12-134.html

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/disabl.nr0.htm

11 Replies to “The Grass is Always Greener ”

  1. This is such an important post! I think it’s so important to remember that people with disabilities often want to work but just physically can’t. There should be a lot more financial and social support for people who can’t work due to their health, thank you for sharing your perspective.

    1. Yes, I totally agree. And it seems like for most it’s so hard to get approved for disability. I’m waiting on my appeal proceedings. It’s been a year since I filed my appeal and I’m still waiting on my hearing. People just assume that if you don’t work bc of Your Health they assume you are lazy which is usually far far from the truth.

      1. It’s definitely getting harder here in the UK too, the ‘fit to work assessments’ are forcing people who are not physically able to work full-time, attempt to find full time work. That can make their condition worse, but people just assume they weren’t trying hard enough to find work

          1. Exactly here they call them FIT tests. Which stands for functional something testing. And they have you do things that aren’t related to a job like you do. I’m a nurse and I had to crawl on the floor and hold my hands above my head and all sorts of crazy things.

          2. Oh totally. I don’t know about in the UK but as I worked in the hospital for all the years I did I saw people on disability for like anxiety and that’s it (which I have an know it can be disabling and I’m not downplaying ) but it seems crazy that people like me with a
            list as long of my arm of conditions that can all be disabling on their own much less in combination with each other can’t get it and face appeals and even multiple appeals.

          3. I think it’s very difficult to claim for any type of support for mental or physical disabilities here in the UK. People face loads of assessments and even after an assessment it often takes months before that get access to any of their support!

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