It seems like no matter what you do these days it’s going to potentially offend somebody for some reason. It doesn’t matter if you are healthy or chronically ill. That being said when you are chronically ill it seems like everyone has an opinion on how you should be living your life. The things you are eating, how you are sleeping, what medications you are taking. And at some point it becomes overwhelming. It can get to the point that you feel like you are no longer living life for you and you are just doing things and living life to please those around you. That may last and be okay for awhile. But at some point you are going to realize that you just can’t live that way. No one can, chronically ill or not. But especially those of us who are chronically ill. Simply because the stress of always trying to please someone else can cause stress on our bodies and in the end make us sicker. That in mind let’s look at a few things that are okay to do and you should NEVER feel guilty for doing!
1. Saying NO
For most saying NO is not something we like to say or something that comes easy. But it is something that we MUST say from time to time. No one can do everything that is asked of them especially not someone who is chronically ill. When it comes to matters of your health & wellbeing saying no to protect your health is never a bad thing. Let me give you a little example: your bff who has three kids under six, who you love like your own, invites you over for dinner and a movie with two other couples and their kids during cold & flu season. In this case you must think of your health first and kindly say you’ll pass this time and catch up with them later. You really can’t chance picking up a big from the kiddos.
2. Taking a ME day
I don’t know how many times lately I’ve heard lately that that people are all about themselves. But are they really?! Or is that a generational thing?! Because most of my friends and people I know spend more time caring for and about those in their lives than they do caring for and about themselves. That being said if you are one of those people who spend more time taking care of your family and doing kind things for your friends than this is for YOU! You should never ever feel guilty about taking a day just for you. Spending a day doing just what you want. Whether that’s a day in pajamas binge watching Netflix, getting a mani & pedi, or having lunch with your friends. A me day is a good way to reset and just relax. And something you should never feel guilt about.
3. Your views on medicine
This can be a very personal and controversial topic. That being said your views are yours and you should never feel guilty for your views. You have to do what is best for you, your kids and your family and other views should not impact your decision. Everyone will have their own viewpoint and not everyone will agree with your differing viewpoints is what makes the world go round. And not something anyone should be made to feel guilty for.
4. Being “different” than someone else.
Like I mentioned above everyone is going to have different views on things. Whether those views be about medical treatments, vaccines, politics or religion, you will always find different views. Even among the closest of family and friends. But that’s OKAY. Differing viewpoints are good and are what make the world go round. That being said never let anyone make you feel guilty for having different viewpoints.
5. Feeling good about yourself
I feel like it takes a long time to truly find yourself and who you want to be. During the years spent searching for who the real you is chances are you probably didn’t have great self-esteem. So when you finally find yourself and feel good about that person don’t let anyone change that. Once you can finally look in a mirror and love what you see, that is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. You deserve to feel good about yourself!! You should never feel guilty about having good self esteem.
People are different, have different views, and do different things, and that’s what makes the world go round. But you should never feel guilty for any of those things. As I have said many many times you have to watch out for you because no one else will. So don’t ever let anyone else make you feel guilty for being you.
With Love,
Amber
I really loved this post it was an excellent self-care reminder. I need to learn to say no without feeling guilty. I often ignore my chronic illness and push through so I don’t let people down or feel left out. I’m going to try to work on being okay with saying no.
That’s the hard part. I think I’ve actually gone to far the other way and become too comfortable with saying NO lol. If that’s a thing.
This is such a good article. I feel like society today expects us to be selfless and neglect ourselves but we can’t help others if we don’t help outselves as well.
I tell people this all the time who are in caretaker rolls. That they cant expect to be good caretakers if they don’t take care of themselves first.