No matter how much support you have or how together you think you are not immune to bouts of depression. No matter how much money you make or if you have the “perfect job” you can still fall victim. It doesn’t matter if you are white, black, green or purple, depression doesn’t discriminate. None of the things mentioned matter. You may feel that you have given yourself all the tools one will need and that you know what to watch for and what to do when it happens. But chances are that’s not the truth. Because depression is sneaky, it sneaks in when you least expect it and stays longer than any unwanted house guest ever would. You can have all the tools available and ready to combat the arrival, but when it sneaks in sometimes it’s hard to realize how bad things are until you’re in to deep to fix things on your own.
When I woke up today, I found myself on the couch barely able to open my eyes. I reached for my phone to see what time it was. 10:07 AM. At this point, I had slept 23 hours since the morning before, and I went back to sleep an additional four hours before waking up to even eat something. This is a very minimal depiction of what depression looks like. My doctor calls it “leaden paralysis”, a symptom of Major Depressive Disorder, Atypical in subtype. It’s where your entire body feels like lead.
If you have never woken up from a dead sleep with your heart pounding and your chest tight drenched in sweat from anxiety. Or felt the panic rising out of no where? If you haven’t I am so happy for you.